Written by: Debbie Martinez • January 19, 2021• Divorce

Unfulfilled Dreams Are Stepping Stones to New Ones

In my practice, I see women every day that have to let go of their dreams due to divorce and begin the search for new ones. A common thread in all of this is happiness. Is it possible to be happy when you still have unfulfilled dreams? My answer to them is a big resounding, “Yes.” “How is that possible?” they ask. It is a choice of where you put your focus. As my clients will attest, I am big, HUGE on positive thinking. The way you think is a life changer so here is where I invite you to put your focus in 2021.

Give thanks for what you have presently and thanks for what is yet to come. Get up each morning with a gratitude list and a sense of expectation.
Continue to find beauty and pleasure in those small things around you. Typically, it isn’t the big things that touch your soul and ignite new dreams.
Live your truth. Be and speak who you are. Doors open faster when you are happy with yourself and opened doors mean pathways to your dreams.
Do for others and be in the moment with them. Give to others and others will give to you.
Open your heart, for when you do, unexpected things happen.
Continue dreaming and never give up. That doesn’t mean, however, that in the course of this dream, you realize it’s not for you, that you don’t switch paths.
Do not become discouraged, as that will only inhibit you realizing your dream. Instead, become motivated. Channel your thoughts and feelings in a positive direction.
Don’t get so caught up in the dream that you forget to live today. It’s one thing to be focused and another to lose focus.
Change your perspective and work on seeing things through a different lens. It’s amazing what that can do. It widens your world and gets you out of the box you have placed yourself in.
Stop being so hard on yourself. When you can accept yourself, flaws and all, you will relax in your new situation and be able to see all the opportunities that await you.
Stop trying to keep things the same. Life is not the same and nothing is more exhausting, and futile, than trying to hold onto something that is now meant to be out of your life. The more you fight it, the harder it becomes. Just let it go.
Leave the past in the past. You can’t do a retake, so stop beating yourself up with the “what ifs.” Let it stay where it is meant to stay, which is not with you today or tomorrow. Be in the moment. Two things can’t occupy the same space at the same time, so if you are ruminating about the past, you can’t be enjoying the present.
Your dream is not the end result; it is just a stepping-stone to another dream. Enjoy the journey between dreams. I can’t stress this point enough. Life is best lived in the present moment. You can’t get this time back so while you are working on your dream, appreciate and enjoy the time in-between.

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