Written by: Debbie Martinez • February 12, 2022• Divorce

Creating Two Homes for Your Child: Working with a Co-Parenting Coach

Let’s be honest: Raising children can be a challenge for parents who live under the same roof, so imagine the challenges that arise when there are two homes, different parenting styles and lack of communication. Are you pulling your hair out yet? This is when a co-parenting coach becomes the MVP of your newly structured family. Co-parenting coaching is not about the divorce story but firmly seated in the best interests of the child. The coach’s goal is to work on communication styles between parents, educate, explore options and collaborate so your child does not suffer the fallout from the divorce. If you are parents of a special needs child, it is vital that you work with a co-parenting coach and one that has a background in special needs.

Every family’s needs are different — and your coach will tailor-make your game plan — but these are some of the areas you can expect to work on:

Adjusting to different parenting styles
Communication
Helping your child transition from one to two homes
Organization and scheduling
Conflict management
Identifying and prioritizing concerns
Stress management
Long-term solutions and not just putting out fires
Managing emotions
Ways to restructure the family
Ongoing support (i.e., new partners, significant family events)

So, the question arises: What happens if one spouse is not interested in co-parenting? Unfortunately, that scenario happens quite a bit; but the co-parenting coach can still help the one parent with all the above, along with acceptance of the situation and strategies on how to now shift from co-parenting to parallel parenting. The key is to be proactive. Meet with a co-parenting coach at the start of your divorce to discuss any concerns you have. In other words, don’t wait until the horse is out of the barn to shut the door.

Here are some books that are worth the read:

Making Divorce Easier on Your Child (Long and Forehand)
Joint Custody with a Jerk (Ross and Corcoran)
Putting Children First (Pedro-Carroll)
Mom’s House, Dad’s House (Ricci)
The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce (Wallerstein, Lewis and Blakeslee)

The emotional well-being of your children is the most important thing, and as difficult as it may be while you are trying to deal with your own grief and anger, I can’t stress enough the long-term importance of it. Working with a co-parenting coach will help keep you focused on what truly is the most important issue in your divorce.

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