Written by: Emily Joswiak • May 7, 2021• Parenting

Factors To Consider When Divorcing With Children

Divorce is tough and only gets tougher when children are involved. Before beginning the process, take note of these important complications that can arise.

Whether it’s an abrupt change of heart after a whirlwind first year or the inevitable conclusion of years of breakdown, divorce is a difficult decision. The pain and stress of divorce is tough enough, but negotiating the fate of your children in the wake of your permanent separation proves extremely difficult. Read about the financial, legal, and emotional factors to consider when divorcing with children before embarking on this very trying chapter of your life.

Child Custody Hearings: Come Prepared

As part of a divorce agreement, you and your spouse will have to go before a judge to determine a plan for child custody and visitation rights. Don’t underestimate the importance of this hearing and assume that a judge will see the same things you see and award you the result you want. Prepare for your hearing by securing dedicated and talented representatives who are familiar with the no-nonsense pace and prompt decision-making of family court.

Child Support: Who Pays What?

Determining child support can be a dicey undertaking. Some couples attempt to place provisions on child support in their prenuptial agreements. Such clauses, should they make the final agreement at all, usually don’t hold up under later scrutiny—judges are all too happy to throw out these prenup presumptions. Many couples, through negotiation, mediation, or other dispute resolutions, attempt to settle matters of child support before their hearing. While a judge may consider these agreements, remember that the final decision on child support always lies with the court, not you and your spouse.

Co-Parenting: A Necessary Compromise

Consider the continuing role of your spouse in parenting when divorcing with children. Continuing parenting duties with your ex-spouse can prove hard for both of you and your children, but you have to overcome it together. If you find yourself without primary custody, that’s no reason to withdraw from parenting responsibilities altogether—your contributions still matter greatly. Successful co-parenting means staying supportive of a child’s extracurricular activities, remaining involved in their education, and being a positive presence. At the same time, consistency across households is key—co-parenting will unravel if one parent tries to play the role of “the fun parent” or establish a good-cop-bad-cop dynamic that leaves children caught in the middle.

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