Written by: Debbie Martinez • June 4, 2024• Divorce

Steps to a New You and New Life

The divorce is final, papers signed and now you get to move on with your life. Sounds matter-of-fact, but let’s put some thought into this. In front of you is a clean slate. How are you going to go about creating a life that you are in love with?

Here are some action steps:

Make peace with your past and your present. No one can be happy in a new life when they are dragging the past behind them.
List the things that are stressing you out and brainstorm how to lessen those stressors. Which ones are self-imposed? So many of the things that stress us are created internally. Worry will rob you of the present and impair your health.
Change your perspective. See the glass full — not half full but all the way full!
Explore what makes your heart sing and how you can do more of it. Happiness comes from within, but sometimes you have to create it. You need to take stock with what makes your heart sing and do more of it.
What have you done in the past to sabotage your happiness, and how are you going to correct it? Ah, good old sabotage. We have all done it, sometimes unconsciously and usually out of some fear. Look back at times when things did not work out and see if there is a pattern. Be aware of them and strategize how to correct them.
Be 150% clear on what you want out of your new life. How do you want your personal life to look? Do you need a change of scenery? What types of people do you want to surround yourself with? And then commit it all to paper.
What are the obstacles to you achieving your new life? How can you overcome them? Take the time to really work this one through. We all have obstacles, but very few people take the necessary step to clarify them and come up with solutions.
Do you want a relationship again? If so, what type? Long-term? Casual? Marriage? What behaviors do you need to change moving forward? Do you ignore red flags and your gut? Do you continue to stay too long once you know that you are a mismatch? Take inventory of past relationships and see if there are any patterns.
Strive for balance. People don’t put enough emphasis on balance in their life. Are you getting enough exercise and downtime to rejuvenate? Are you hanging around more people that drag you down as opposed to uplifting you?
Have gratitude. Being thankful for the little things will bring you bigger things to be thankful for.
Establish a morning ritual. What is the difference between a routine and a ritual? A routine means you are on autopilot. A ritual has mindfulness behind it. It starts your day with purpose, and it can change your life.

Life is not waiting for you. The clock is still ticking whether you are living or only existing. Choose to live each day. By implementing the above steps, it will help you step out of your comfort zone and live life differently.

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Last modified: July 7, 2024