Written by: Emily Joswiak • January 20, 2020• Parenting Senior Health

Things to Think About as Your Parents Age

The best time to talk to your parents about their plans for living as they age is well before they need to implement such plans. If your parents are over 70, it’s best to talk to them now about life insurance, the living situations, and (unfortunately) what happens after they die. Approach your parents respectfully but also assertively, you should be able to work together to prepare for the day your parents need more help. Here are some things to think about as your parents age.

Ask Them to Record Family History

Ask parents to fill in the blanks in family history or genealogy. Don’t pry about long-held secrets: if they haven’t pulled those skeletons out of the closet by now, they probably won’t. But if you frame the request as a way to provide family history to your kids, or as inspiration to create a keepsake scrapbook, you might draw out fun facts. Maybe your Mom was known as a great dancer, or your Dad helped build a local landmark.

Discuss Independence

Elderly parents often want to stay as independent as possible and can be resistant against getting support. While this is ok if they are quite physically fit, most of the time is can be a struggle to carrying out tasks like going shopping without getting too tired and risking their health. This is why it’s important to compromise with them to ensure they stay safe. For example, allow them to continue to shop for themselves but only if they use a mobility scooter to help them reduce the strain it takes to be on their feet the whole shop. You can even get pride mobility additional products to help make their lives even easier.

Allowing your parents to have as much freedom as possible is important as it allows them to live their lives the way they want and not have many restrictions in place. However, there will be times where you will need to step in and make some changes to ensure they aren’t risking their health by doing too much. Often, parents will think they’re still able to do the things that they did when they were younger, so it’s important that children keep an eye out for their parents. If you notice that your parents are becoming too much of a risk to themselves, you might want to suggest that they consider moving into an independent living community, like La Posada. This sort of community would be perfect for seniors who want to experience a more relaxed lifestyle, whilst also being able to access essential services with ease. Be sure to discuss all possible options with your parents.

Help Them Stay in Touch

It’s unusual these days for all adult siblings to live near Mom and Dad, so help your parents keep in touch. Set up private Facebook groups, or text-chats where the family can share news and photos of growing grandchildren, milestone moments, or hometown news.

Have Difficult Conversations

The difficult conversations will usually be about the following topics:

Where Aging Parents Will Live

When it comes to senior living, there are so many options to consider. Retirement community or assisted living? Aging in place or downsizing? Respect your parents’ desires about where they want to live, but help them work through factors they may not have considered. What happens if one or both of them becomes ill or incapacitated?

Finances

Seniors are susceptible to scams, and scammers know it. Find out how your parents protect and invest their money, but don’t give the impression that you’re interested in taking some. Go over monthly budgets. Do they have enough coming in, or set aside, to pay for insurance, taxes, and vacations? Are they willing to accept financial help?

Hiring Help

Household chores, shopping, and managing medications all become more onerous as we age. Seniors are more susceptible to infectious diseases, such as the flu, and are at greater risk of injury from falls than younger people. Parents who need help are often reluctant to ask for it. The role reversal of who takes care of who between parents and adult children is tough.

Your parents may be unwilling to consider adopting assistive devices such as canes or reacher-grabbers, because these devices remind them that they’re getting older. But if they wear glasses, or use hearing aids, they should be willing to discuss adopting other helpful items.

The day will come when you’re no longer comfortable that your parents are living without help in the home. Allowing a non-family member into the home to provide assistance is a major life change. If you start before help is necessary, you can develop a phase-in plan of hiring helpers that will make the transition easier. You may even consider a retirement home such as this assisted living omaha ne, if your parents live in that area. It’s worth looking at all of the options and then your parents can choose the best option for their needs.

Planning for the Inevitable

Talk to your parents about their wishes for what happens when they pass away. Have they provided any written instructions? They may start to give things away because they’re worried about burdening the family with decades of accumulated possessions. Take a load off their minds and help them plan how things will go when they go.

Above all else, tell your parents that you love and appreciate them as you help them with things to think about as your parents age.